


Am I Evil?

by Chokolatte (ChokolatteJedi)



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dark, Angst, Drama, F/M, M/M, Magic, Mind Meld, When Did This Go From a One-Shot To A Handful Of Chapters?, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-09-28
Updated: 2005-09-28
Packaged: 2017-10-09 15:30:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/88893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChokolatteJedi/pseuds/Chokolatte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry takes a test to prove his loyalties to the order and fails! Somewhat evil Harry. HPTMR, HGRW.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Betrayer

**Author's Note:**

> **Beta/Warden:** My Sweet Koinu  
> **Pairing: **Harry/Tom, Herm/Ron  
> **Warnings: **Slash, sorta-Evil Harry, Written at end of seventh year, not HBP cannon, OOTP spoilers  
> **Disclaimer:** This official sounding disclaimer covers all chapters of this story: I don't own Harry Potter and co. I don't write these to lash out against/harm/slander JKR. I don't make any money from this. So no suing, cause I'm an English major and therefore have no money :D And I'm a college student, so therefore have even less than no money. :P

"Harry my boy! Come in, come in. Would you like a lemon drop?" Dumbledore smiled warmly as Harry entered his crowded office. Almost a dozen aurors and a handful of Hogwarts staff were there. Harry's mind quickly registered that they were all order members. This was an official meeting then.

His stomach twisted and he sent a jolt of nervousness through the link to his lover. Immediately he was filled with a wash of reassurance. Harry pasted a fake smile on his face and greeted the order members, avoiding tea, biscuit, and lemon drop in the process. He had very real suspicions that one, if not all three, had been treated with something. "What's up?" he asked cautiously.

"We've made an amazing discovery." Dumbledore replied. "You remember your worry at the last meeting about spies like Peter?" Harry nodded. His reasoning had been that if Snape could fool Voldemort, then couldn't a spy fool Dumbledore. "Well we have modified a spell and made a Betrayer Stone. Ancient kings used them." He waved a hand at his desk and Harry obligingly looked.

He hadn't noticed the pale silk cushion earlier, but the clear ball resting on it was remarkably familiar… "looks like Nev's Remembrall." He and Minerva exchanged smiles, remembering his last experience with the object and Harry's first flight.

Dumbledore beamed. "Yes, well we found this to be more accurate than a real stone or jewel. It is a very similar principal, though. The smoke starts a pale aqua and turns either green or blue when you hold it, based on your alliances to either the dark or the light. As your intentions are gauged, it will turn either a darker blue or a lighter green."

Dumbledore didn't clarify which color was which, but Harry suspected that "lighter" green meant "good guy" and "darker" blue meant "evil git." Harry sent this thought, will an image of the ball across the link. Tom confirmed his guess. _I wonder what you'd read as?_ He joked. Internally, Harry stuck his tongue out at his sarcastic lover, who just chuckled.

"With this, we can be sure there are no spies in the order." Poppy said. "After your vision last week, when you-know-who spoke of a new spy, this has come none too soon."

Harry nodded. "So, 'ave you all been tested?" he teased.

Tonks grinned at him. "Wotcher!"

"Yeah, and how blue were you?" Harry snickered. A few faces looked at him in surprise, either for his joke or his correct guess as to the colors.

The young auror's grin widened and she winked at their startled expressions. "You wound me, Harry." She said melodramatically. "Naw, I was green. Moody here, he was blue through and through." Both young people laughed while the ex-auror glared. "Anyways, we can't have all the fun. Your turn!" Tonks picked up the ball and tossed it to Harry.

Before he could think of the results, Harry's arm had darted out and he caught the ball as easily as he caught the snitch. "Hmmm, wonder what color I'll be." He joked as the smoke began to swirl. A few staff members chuckled with him and the youngest auror as the pretty blue-green began to change.

To blue.

And then green.

And back to blue.

Back and forth the color flicked until coming to rest on a light blue. _Shit._


	2. Lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Beta/Warden:** My Sweet Koinu  
> **Pairing: **Harry/Tom, Herm/Ron  
> **Warnings: **Slash, sorta-Evil Harry, Written at end of seventh year, not HBP cannon, OOTP spoilers  
> **Disclaimer:** Tosses a clear ball back and forth between her hands and stops when it fills with swirling fog. Er… the smoke becomes a deep blue What can I say? smirks I'm evil :D

The room was silent as the ball fell from his suddenly numb hand. _Tom?_ Harry begged as the ball rolled across the floor, all color vanishing. He couldn't move.

Tom, who had watched in amusement through his young lover's eyes felt the fear mounting and searched the younger wizard's mind for a defense. _Panic. You're getting there already and I can work with it. Just freeze and panic and empty your mind._ Tom reassured him. _Think you can do that, Love?_ His reply was a soft whimper as Harry obeyed.

Harry still hadn't moved as the room stared at him. His face was deathly white under his tan and his wide emerald eyes were starring at his empty hand. Finally Tonks managed a hoarse whisper. "Harry?" her voice had no effect on the stunned boy, but it broke the spell on the others. Madam Pomfrey and Snape each pulled a vial of calming drought from into their robe pockets. Poppy nodded and poured both down Harry's throat. Harry allowed her, his eyes never leaving his hand where the ball had been.

As the potions took effect, he sank to the floor, glazed and horrified eyes never moving. The Order of the Phoenix members began to murmur amongst themselves as Moody bent to pick up the ball and return it to the Headmaster's desk. "Albus?" Severus asked, his cool mask firmly replaced. Dumbledore nodded and the potions teacher pulled out his wand. "Legitimens."

_The ball in his hand, betrayer, the word blue echoing through his mind, fear, a young man in Slytherin robes twirling Harry's wand, pain, Voldemort's high pitched laughter…_

Snape ended the spell and shook his head at the Headmaster. "He's still in complete shock. I couldn't see anything but a few assorted images and the word 'blue.'"

Before anyone could comment, there was an insistent knocking on the door. McGonagall opened it and Hermione rushed in, her face worried. Seeing Harry, she ran over, dropped to her knees, and wrapped her arms around the trembling boy. "Harry, what happened?" Harry closed his eyes and gave the barest of head shakes. "Harry, tell me!" Hermione demanded.

"Blue." Harry whispered. Hermione looked beseechingly at the Headmaster for explanation.

"We used a Betrayal Stone that detects evil with a person." The Headmaster said.

"I'm evil." Harry whispered, the tremors wracking his body increasing.

"Nonsense!" Hermione tightened her grip on the shaking boy in a warm hug. "Its impossible to judge how 'good' or 'evil' a person is. It's all relative." She winced, realizing her mistake on the last word.

"But it said… they… freak…" Harry's eyes crossed as he attempted to explain, to reason out the conflicting images in his head.

"You are not evil, Harry. Or a freak." Hermione chided gently. "The Dursleys are lying idiots. I'm guessing that stone used a loyalty test, yes?" Dumbledore nodded. "Since Dumbledore created it, it tests how loyal you are to him, not how good or evil you are."

The rest of the order members looked amazed that the seventh year could have figured out the spell so quickly. "Why didn't we have her do all the research?" one auror muttered.

"You are quite right, Hermione." Dumbledore ignored the complaint.

Hermione grabbed Harry's chin in her hand, forcing him to look at her. "Harry, you. Are. NOT. Evil." She said very clearly. Harry blinked at her, finally believing.

"But he doesn't trust the Headmaster?" someone asked.

Hermione glared at the speaker and looked back at the boy slowly relaxing in her protective embrace. "Harry, did you have a vision last night?" He nodded. "Does your scar still hurt?" Nod. "Was Voldemort mad at the Order?" Nod. Understanding began to dawn on many around the room as the young witch looked up at the oldest wizard. "Headmaster?"

"There are no records of such anomalies, as Harry's scar is unique, but I believe that the Betrayer Stone could be picking up on Voldemort's thoughts inside Harry's mind."

"It would certainly explain the flickering." Kingsley added, deep in thought.

Hermione ignored him, sure that either Harry or Tom would explain later, and inspected the boy she held. Harry's panic-induced adrenaline was fading and he slumped in the witch's arms. "May we leave now?" She asked pointedly. The Headmaster nodded. "Ron!"

The tall redhead moved out of the doorway where he had clearly been standing since the brunette's entrance. Many order members jumped at seeing him appear, apparently out of thin air, and he sneered at their obliviousness. "So much for 'Constant Vigilance.'" He taunted. Many, including Moody, looked embarrassed, but the headmaster's eyes just twinkled. Ron easily picked up the younger teen and headed for the door, Hermione by his side. They were almost out when Snape spoke up.


	3. Where Loyalties Lie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Beta/Warden:** My Sweet Koinu  
> **Pairing: **Harry/Tom, Herm/Ron  
> **Warnings: **Slash, sorta-Evil Harry, Written at end of seventh year, not HBP cannon, OOTP spoilers  
> **Disclaimer:** ((Tosses a clear ball back and forth between her hands and stops when it fills with swirling fog.)) Er… ((the smoke becomes a deep blue)) What can I say? smirks I'm evil :D

"By the way Miss Granger, how did you know Potter was upset?" Snape asked silkily, stopping the girl in her tracks.

She waved at Ron to continue and turned slowly, glaring. "If we had been eavesdropping, I would have been in here the moment Harry freaked out." She replied coldly, correctly interpreting the real question. "We were in the library, doing our homework and waiting for Harry to come back." She held up her fist, revealing a small silver ring. Its stone was bright yellow but fading.

"We charmed some muggle mood rings to tell us Harry's moods so we'd know if he was in danger." She explained, her face darkening. "He was so terrified, the light almost blinded me! And it was a good thing I came, from the looks of it. What did you all do when the thing turned blue? Shoved a couple of calming potions down his throat and then backed away?" She waved a hand at the two empty vials on the floor.

"Harry is your Golden Boy and the minute you learn something new about him you run away like he's got the plague. You're worse than the Daily Prophet and all those mindless witches and wizards out there who send him Howlers whenever they read some new lie about him. Did you even notice that he was terrified out of his mind? Or were you all too busy trying to get into the farthest corner from him?" She said scathingly, ignoring the flinches at her accurate guesses.

"He couldn't even move or formulate a sentence and none of you lifted a finger to help him, you just stood there cowering. You couldn't even bother to tell Harry he wasn't evil! _**Him! The protector of the light, the Golden Boy of Gryffindor, the-bloody-boy-who-lived!** _And you just assumed he was evil and didn't try to tell him otherwise when it clearly terrified him!"

Still glaring viciously at the flustered group, Hermione stalked over to the desk and grabbed the betrayer ball. The smoke had barely begun to form before it changed to a brilliant blue. Quite calmly she said. "Even an hour ago this ball would have been a different color." Hermione dropped it back onto the plush cushion and turned to leave. Poppy made a questioning noise and the young brunette turned around, clearly struggling to control her temper.

"You never should have tested Harry without explaining everything fully to him." She spat out every word, turning her infuriated gaze on the Headmaster. "You especially should have known better. You know what his greatest fear was in second year." With that she was out of the door and racing after the two boys, leaving a room full of shocked and ashamed adults in her wake.

"Albus?" Minerva asked.

The Headmaster had sunk into the chair behind his desk, remembering quite clearly what Hermione had been referring to. "When Harry met Tom Riddle in the Chamber of Secrets, Tom pointed out various similarities between them, many no doubt transferred through his scar. Hair color, parsletongue, rule-breaking, quick wits, half-bloods, the list goes on. The sorting hat even debated putting Harry in Slytherin." He ignored the gasps that followed his pronouncement.

"Harry was horrified and frightened that he might become evil too. I attempted to reassure him on that score, and succeeded partially. However, it still bothered him that the ability was there, however deeply buried, that Harry could be turned evil by his scar. Until he met a dememtor on the train ride back for third year, that was Harry's worst fear and nightmare. He now has many more to choose from, and I thought that one had faded." Albus sighed heavily and dropped his head into his palms as the others worked through what he and Hermione had said.


	4. Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Beta/Warden:** My Sweet Koinu  
> **Pairing: **Harry/Tom, Herm/Ron  
> **Warnings: **Slash, sorta-Evil Harry, Written at end of seventh year, not HBP cannon, OOTP spoilers  
> **Disclaimer:** This AIN'T the last chappie! It sort of sounds like it t'words the end but there's at least one more coming! There, you've been disclaimed.

Reaching the base of the stairs, Hermione saw Ron beckoning her from an empty classroom down the hall and she ran to join him. Harry was still dazed and she knelt down to look directly into his emerald eyes. "Tom, I know you blocked his mind." She said softly. "You can let Harry come out now."

The vacant look slowly faded and Harry blinked, the clearer green gaze returning to his laughing eyes. "They bought it?"

"Yep." Hermione grinned. "Tell Tom that was brilliant, covering your mind with that old fear from the Chamber of Secrets. I almost didn't get it at first." Ron made a small noise of understanding.

Harry hummed in agreement. "He says 'thank you.' It was the best he could come up with on such short notice. He almost forgot to extend it to the ring." He looked down at his hand and the winking green gem.

"Good thing he did." Ron said, squatting beside the other two after locking the door and casting wards. "I gotta admit, you really worried me for a minute there, Har, I thought you were really freaking."

"Sorry." Harry grinned. "It was more of an 'oh shit' and then Tom took over for me. I was laughing so hard when you just appeared out of nowhere. Moody's face when you said 'constant vigilance!' Oh God!" Harry dissolved into giggles, quickly joined by the other two.

"I thought Kinglsey was gonna have a heart attack." Ron replied. "And Tonks! And her hair…" Both boys shook their head at the memory of the girl turning almost the same shade of green as her black-tipped long hair.

"You should have seen their faces afterwards." Hermione added. "Priceless."

"I wanna see that." Harry said, pulling out his wand. "Can I?"

"Only if I can see what happened before we came." Hermione replied, puling out her own wand.

"Fair enough." Harry allowed her to play the memory repeat spell they had learned on him. It was similar to a pensive, but instead of becoming immersed in the memory from an objective point of view, it showed the image as a two dimensional film as seen through the bearer's eyes. With Harry, they also had the advantage of hearing his conversations with Tom in the memories. After watching the entire meeting from all three points of view, the Golden Trio was again on the floor in helpless laughter.

When they finally calmed, Harry turned to the brunette witch. "By the way Hermione, how did you know all that stuff? Not just about me but the spell and everything?"

"After the last order meeting I looked into it. I knew you were the 'spy' but it was still interesting. The Order of the Phoenix members were looking in all the wrong places at first until I mentioned that King Arthur had a Betrayer Stone in my paper on Merlin's Transformations. McGonagall obviously told them where to look after that."

"I should've known." Harry beamed at her. "Well, glad that's over. They didn't find out about Tom and they'll never try a betrayer spell on me again." Harry stood, helping to pull Ron and Hermione to their feet. "I bet Poppy'll be looking for me soon. Whadaya say to a Butterbeer in Hogsmeade?"

"Excellent!" Ron unlocked the door and carefully inspected the hall. "All clear." The trio ran down the hall to the one-eyed witch's statue and quickly opened the trapdoor. Soon they were jogging down the tunnel to Honeydukes.


	5. Charms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Beta/Warden:** My Sweet Koinu  
> **Pairing: **Harry/Tom, Herm/Ron  
> **Warnings: **Slash, sorta-Evil Harry, Written at end of seventh year, not HBP cannon, OOTP spoilers  
> **Disclaimer:** OK, this is it. The last chappie! Aren't you all excited? I know I am. And I like goats. Don't you? coughforeshadowingcough

They had been joking in one of the upper rooms of the Hogshead when Harry paused. _Hello Love._ A silky voice whispered in the young wizard's mind.

"Tom's here!" he exclaimed happily. _Hello to you too. Your meeting finally over?_

Tom sighed. _Yes. Bloody idiots, every one of them._

_That's why friends are better than minions. You can chose smart ones instead of just the ones dumb enough to follow you blindly without asking for anything but pain in return._ Harry taunted.

_Yes. Quite._ Harry giggled at the annoyance in his lover's mental tone and quickly shared the joke with Hermione and Ron. A moment later there was a knock on the door and Harry leapt up to open it a crack. "Yes Alberforth?"

The bartender shifted nervously. "There's someone downstairs who wants to… to see you." He began. "But I'm not sure… if it's such a good idea, like."

"About six-one, raven hair, light blue eyes, speaks in parsletongue?" Alberforth regarded him in shock and Harry stifled a giggle. "It's okay, you can send him on up." Harry smiled politely and shut the door. As soon as the bewildered wizard's footsteps faded Harry burst into laughter and took his seat at the table again.

Minutes later the door opened and Voldemort, suitably glamoured to look like his younger self, entered the room. "Tom!" Harry leapt up and wrapped his arms around the older wizard, pulling his lover into a passionate kiss.

"Have you been staying out of trouble since the Order meeting?" Tom teased, sitting in Harry's abandoned chair, his lover on his lap.

"I don't get into trouble _that_ often!" Harry mock pouted. "Besides, it's usually your fault."

"Well then, allow me to humbly apologize." Tom deadpanned. While Harry stared at him in shock, he took the opportunity to steal a sip from the younger wizard's butterbeer.

"Hey!" Harry swiped the bottle back out of the pale hand and drained it. "Get your own."

Tom turned to the others, ignoring the remark. "By the way, Hermione, you were quite brilliant back there."

"Thanks Tom." The brunette blushed slightly. "It wouldn't have worked if you hadn't gotten to Harry's memories in time."

"Oh yes, I meant to ask about that." The Dark Lord looked down into the jade eyes of his lover. "Did you really fear becoming evil?"

Harry squirmed. "At the time, yeah. But over the years, and especially since we talked last year, I've gotten over it." He suddenly smirked. "Besides, you're evil enough for the both of us."

Laughing, Tom grabbed another Butterbeer and the four continued talking of various things. Hermione's memory of telling off the Order was replayed for Tom and the next Hogsmeade date was discussed, as well as classes and Gryffindor's chances at the Quidditch Cup. Finally Harry's watch beeped the alarm and he looked at it.

"Curfew in twenty minutes." He said.

"When has that ever stopped you?" Tom asked as the three younger wizards stood to leave.

"Since they added a spell that told them exactly which students were not in their dorms as of curfew and where said students were." Hermione said. "It doesn't activate till eleven, but if we're not back in the Tower, or at least on the grounds by that time, they'll know it."

"It's a bloody pain in the arse." The redhead added, draping an arm over his girlfriend's shoulders.

"Irritating indeed." Tom remarked, walking down the stairs hand in hand with Harry. Alberforth gaped at the couple, but one look from the young hero shut his mouth.

Ron, however, noticed. "Er, Harry, aren't you worried about Dumbledore's brother?" He asked as they walked out into the clear night.

"Oh yeah, especially since a certain tall, dark, and handsome evil wizard showed up?" Hermione winked at Tom, who looked mildly amused at the epitaph.

"Hey!" Ron protested.

"Naw, with all the dirt I have on him, Alberforth'll keep it a secret." Harry smirked, placing a chaste kiss on the tall, Dark wizard's lips as they snuck into Honeyduke's. A parting thought from Tom made him grin and he added. "Besides, who do you think taught him those inappropriate goat charms?" The teens' laughter rang through the old passageway as they ran back to the castle.


End file.
